Tuesday, March 16, 2010


that person is really annoying. wish i could avoid that person.

stop annoying me and just get on with our lil lives.

Ya Allah, help me.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


baru lepas jumpe dr X kat klinik X,

nak mintak mc dari die cos smlm sakit teruk, migraine, muntah2. pagi tadi pun xleh get out of bed, i decided to go to doctor bile i feel a lil bit better.
dr tu ckp i shouldve gone seen him when i was sick. now that he cant prove that i'm sick he cant give me mc. to top it off he said that i'm irresponsible for missing work today. he bragged that during he first days at work, he was tough, never get sick bla bla bla bla..it was as if he was blaming me for getting sick and purposely missing work today. worse still, he said i have no commitment to work..

who is he to say?? what does he know about me?? if tak mau kasi mc ckp je la, i can accept it. but i cant compromise critisicm and judgements towards me without any hard evidence. just bcos i came see him at the wrong time, and miss work today bcos i felt horrible this morning, doesnt mean he get the license to call me irresponsible and uncommited.

i was just sick and i got better alhmdlh. i wish i could sustain my sickness just to prove to everyone that i'm sick so they dont judge me when i ask for an mc.

ya Allah, aku yakin ada hikmah di sebalik semua ini. kau tunjukkanlah kepada dr itu erti responsibility yg sebenar2nya. amin.

Monday, March 1, 2010


Assalamualaikum my online diary..

It's been a while since i last wrote. you must have been wondering what ive been up to and let me tell you what i do on daily basis..

6:30 : up for subuh
7:00 : go back to bed
10:00 : up again for bfast
: laundry if there's any
: clear up kitchen if its messy
: watch tv if there's no laundy and kitchen is already neat

12-1:00: Pick-up dania and lepak2 kat rumah baby sitter

2:00 : Lunch all by myself
: Solat
: Prepare for class tonight
: or watch tv
: or study for upcoming work if i have the courage
: Maybe take a short nap
5:00 : Menggelabah tak habis study lagi
: Still gelabah
: Baru teringat nak masak but last2 umi yang masak (sorry mom!)

6:00 : Solat
: Dinner if i want to, usually tak sempat and i dont bother.
7:00 : Get ready and off to class.

10:00 : Back home
: watch tv for a bit
11:00 : Off to bed when everyone left the living room.
: feeling happy and looking forward for the next day, Alhamdulillah.

Being Fateha is really enjoyable and comfortable i must say.
I'm at my favorite place on earth,
surrounded by my favourite people,
doing a job that i'm quite happy with,
soon to start a real job at a nearby hospital.

Ya Allah,
sometimes i forget to thank you for all these gifts of life,
So i'd like to express my deepest gratitude for everything that i have,
for everything that you taught me,
for everything that you made me see,
for everything that makes me happy today.

Ya Allah,
Jangan biarkan kesenangan ini menghanyutkan aku,
sehingga aku melupakanMu.


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Blessing in disguise


I dont know how long i havent been writing, but i'm sure its been a century. i thought this holiday is going to be a boring one, one that could bring me to a depressing state where facebook was my only companion. but i proved myself wrong after a month of stay in KL home sweet home. not only i was busy catching up things that ive been missing, but also time to just sit down and breath has become scarced.
i neglected fb, ym and blogspot and started thinking bout what to cook today? whats missing in the fridge? is there some washings in the washing machine? what time am i picking up dania today? why hasnt acap called me yet, how is he coming back? omg whats for dinner? why is the house such a mess?!!!? i'm meeting the girls this weekend, havent bought pkot's bday present yet!
i need to see a massues, my body is aging so fast.
yesterday was a helova day. i attended an interview with spa, which i'm happy to announce that i passed alhamdullilah. later on in the afternoon, we (hanisah, shamin and i) collected our appointment letter after going thru a series of amazing race at the health ministry. i was told that it will take 8weeks before i could finally serve as a pharmacist. Alhamdulillah, everthing fall into places.
So long facebook, and blog.

Blessing in disguise..


Wednesday, December 23, 2009


Life's good.

Itu saja yg terlintas kat otak sekarang.
i'm like a baby these days, in fact i will always be...until job comes knocking on my door.
so i will take this moment, and enjoy it while i can.
nnt dah keje kena bgn awal, kena stuck dlm jam, bfast pun tak sempat, balik mlm..huhu..
tp dok melangut mcm ni pun busan jugak..lol.cant make up my mind..

missing everyone back in NZ,

Sunday, November 29, 2009

I forgive you

wahai sahabat,
aku maafkan kau, walaupun aku tak tau ape masalanye
tapi aku tetap maafkan kau.

wahai sahabat,
maybe in the future kite akan berjumpe lagi
or mungkin tidak
be it jumpe or tak
kau tak perlu struggle carik aku just nak mintak maaf
sbb aku dah pun maafkan kau

wahai sahabat,
we had this conversation already
if one day we happen to hurt one another,
we promise that we'll get over the fight,
u can always come back to me,
jgn risau sbb aku akan sentiasa maafkan kau.

wahai sahabat,
hati ini terluka byk sgt kali,
terguris2 mcm daun rampai kena hiris,
tapi so long kau janji that u'll keep this friendship,
no u dont owe me an apology,
bcos i have already forgiven u.

wahai sahabat,
biar beribu titik hitam pun atas kertas putihku,
dan jua kertas putihmu,
kau tau, dan aku tau,
that hitam putih itu are nothing more than just 2 different colours,
that hitam putih itu akan pudar dan sebati menjadi satu colour yg kite same2 recognise,
that 10 tahun dari sekarang, hitam putih itu tak matter langsung,
that selain hitam putih, byk lagi colour lain..
cuma kau dan aku yg faham...
aku menilaimu bukan dari hitam atau putih itu,
jgn kau resah,
sbb aku dah pun memaafkanmu.

wahai sahabatku,
we dont have much time,
tapi aku doakan agar Allah kurniakan masa yg panjang in the future,
untuk kita preserve and share this beautiful friendship,

my dear friend,
these words might mean nothing to you,
but they mean the world to me,
for what it's worth,
i forgive u, and hope u accept my apology too.


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Why cant i have everything??

Kenapa kita x salu dpt ape yg kite nak? kite selalu fikir that life would be so much better if i have etc etc etc etc.... and siang malam, kite berangan, if yg rajin sikit berdoa tiap kali solat supaya kita dikurniakan kesempurnaan hidup. if dpt malam lailatul qadar pun bagus jugak, bcos on top of berdoa supaya dosa2 diampunkan, kite berdoa agar kite dpt mende2 yg kite idam2kan itu spt kekayaan yg melimpah ruah, rezeki yg bergolek2, rumah yg besar ada tennis court bagai, kereta limo bersama driver yg setia. kalau pompuan sure nak mintak kecantikan yg abadi luar dan dalam dan macam2 lagi impian yg harap2nya dapat dimakbulkan oleh Allah. rest assure kerana Allah itu maha mendengar. dan sesungguhnya Allah memakbulkan doa org2 yg beriman dan beramal soleh (assyura: 26).
Tetapi......ever wonder why kenape hidup kite x perfect?? there must be at least a thing or two that we are lacking, that we wish we'd be able to gain sooner or later in life.
pagi tadi lepas solat subuh, i took a while bermenung kejap before bukak quran dan mengaji. i was pondering upon a conversation i had with kak azam and farah before we dozed off quietly into the night. One of them mentioned a very good point: "MOSTLY, dalam satu family yg sgt baik, mesti akan ada satu black sheep. but in a family who is broken and helpless, akan ada at least sorang yg mendapat petunjuk dan tolong family nya". meaning Allah maha adil dan pandai balance kelebihan dan kekurangan hamba2Nya. Dalam byk2 kelebihan kita, sure ada kekurangan, vice versa.
true indeed, as i turned over the pages of holy quran, i came across this beautiful ayat. As if Allah was justifying my thougts:

" Dan jikalau Allah melapangkan rezeki kepada hamba2Nya tentulah mereka akan melampaui batas di muka bumi, tetapi Allah menurunkan apa yang dikehendakiNya DENGAN UKURAN. sesungguhnya Dia maha mengetahui (keadaan) hamba2Nya lagi maha melihat" (Assyuura:27).

Bingo!!!!!!!!! i hit the jackpot!!
tak tau nape rasa happy sgt. maybe sbb i found the answer as to why kite tak dpt everything. dan kite bukan org yg paling kaya, paling bertuah, paling cantik, paling pandai, dan segale male paling2 yg lain. it does make some sort of sense, kalau kite dikurniakn segala kehebatan, we are less likely to appreciate nikmat itu. dan kita akan kurang bermohon kepada Allah dan jadilah manusia itu bongkak mcm firaun nauzubillah!

Itu sbb Allah memberi sesuatu kpd kita WITH A LIMIT. ntah2 org lain yg kite perceive perfect tu ada je kekurangan die kat tempat lain who knows??
cer nye...Yakinlah bahawa Allah itu maha adil, and if we are patient enough, we will get everything we've ever wanted on one fine day=)