Wednesday, December 23, 2009

NZKL

Life's good.

Itu saja yg terlintas kat otak sekarang.
i'm like a baby these days, in fact i will always be...until job comes knocking on my door.
so i will take this moment, and enjoy it while i can.
nnt dah keje kena bgn awal, kena stuck dlm jam, bfast pun tak sempat, balik mlm..huhu..
tp dok melangut mcm ni pun busan jugak..lol.cant make up my mind..

missing everyone back in NZ,
Fateha

Sunday, November 29, 2009

I forgive you

wahai sahabat,
aku maafkan kau, walaupun aku tak tau ape masalanye
tapi aku tetap maafkan kau.

wahai sahabat,
maybe in the future kite akan berjumpe lagi
or mungkin tidak
be it jumpe or tak
kau tak perlu struggle carik aku just nak mintak maaf
sbb aku dah pun maafkan kau

wahai sahabat,
we had this conversation already
if one day we happen to hurt one another,
we promise that we'll get over the fight,
u can always come back to me,
jgn risau sbb aku akan sentiasa maafkan kau.

wahai sahabat,
hati ini terluka byk sgt kali,
terguris2 mcm daun rampai kena hiris,
tapi so long kau janji that u'll keep this friendship,
no u dont owe me an apology,
bcos i have already forgiven u.

wahai sahabat,
biar beribu titik hitam pun atas kertas putihku,
dan jua kertas putihmu,
kau tau, dan aku tau,
that hitam putih itu are nothing more than just 2 different colours,
that hitam putih itu akan pudar dan sebati menjadi satu colour yg kite same2 recognise,
that 10 tahun dari sekarang, hitam putih itu tak matter langsung,
that selain hitam putih, byk lagi colour lain..
cuma kau dan aku yg faham...
aku menilaimu bukan dari hitam atau putih itu,
jgn kau resah,
sbb aku dah pun memaafkanmu.

wahai sahabatku,
we dont have much time,
tapi aku doakan agar Allah kurniakan masa yg panjang in the future,
untuk kita preserve and share this beautiful friendship,

my dear friend,
these words might mean nothing to you,
but they mean the world to me,
for what it's worth,
i forgive u, and hope u accept my apology too.

Fateha

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Why cant i have everything??

Kenapa kita x salu dpt ape yg kite nak? kite selalu fikir that life would be so much better if i have etc etc etc etc.... and siang malam, kite berangan, if yg rajin sikit berdoa tiap kali solat supaya kita dikurniakan kesempurnaan hidup. if dpt malam lailatul qadar pun bagus jugak, bcos on top of berdoa supaya dosa2 diampunkan, kite berdoa agar kite dpt mende2 yg kite idam2kan itu spt kekayaan yg melimpah ruah, rezeki yg bergolek2, rumah yg besar ada tennis court bagai, kereta limo bersama driver yg setia. kalau pompuan sure nak mintak kecantikan yg abadi luar dan dalam dan macam2 lagi impian yg harap2nya dapat dimakbulkan oleh Allah. rest assure kerana Allah itu maha mendengar. dan sesungguhnya Allah memakbulkan doa org2 yg beriman dan beramal soleh (assyura: 26).
Tetapi......ever wonder why kenape hidup kite x perfect?? there must be at least a thing or two that we are lacking, that we wish we'd be able to gain sooner or later in life.
pagi tadi lepas solat subuh, i took a while bermenung kejap before bukak quran dan mengaji. i was pondering upon a conversation i had with kak azam and farah before we dozed off quietly into the night. One of them mentioned a very good point: "MOSTLY, dalam satu family yg sgt baik, mesti akan ada satu black sheep. but in a family who is broken and helpless, akan ada at least sorang yg mendapat petunjuk dan tolong family nya". meaning Allah maha adil dan pandai balance kelebihan dan kekurangan hamba2Nya. Dalam byk2 kelebihan kita, sure ada kekurangan, vice versa.
true indeed, as i turned over the pages of holy quran, i came across this beautiful ayat. As if Allah was justifying my thougts:

" Dan jikalau Allah melapangkan rezeki kepada hamba2Nya tentulah mereka akan melampaui batas di muka bumi, tetapi Allah menurunkan apa yang dikehendakiNya DENGAN UKURAN. sesungguhnya Dia maha mengetahui (keadaan) hamba2Nya lagi maha melihat" (Assyuura:27).

Bingo!!!!!!!!! i hit the jackpot!!
tak tau nape rasa happy sgt. maybe sbb i found the answer as to why kite tak dpt everything. dan kite bukan org yg paling kaya, paling bertuah, paling cantik, paling pandai, dan segale male paling2 yg lain. it does make some sort of sense, kalau kite dikurniakn segala kehebatan, we are less likely to appreciate nikmat itu. dan kita akan kurang bermohon kepada Allah dan jadilah manusia itu bongkak mcm firaun nauzubillah!

Itu sbb Allah memberi sesuatu kpd kita WITH A LIMIT. ntah2 org lain yg kite perceive perfect tu ada je kekurangan die kat tempat lain who knows??
cer nye...Yakinlah bahawa Allah itu maha adil, and if we are patient enough, we will get everything we've ever wanted on one fine day=)

Wallahualam

Friday, November 20, 2009

randomness

time: 1.04pm
venue: rumah yda, Dunedin.

pagi ni hujan, suram je weather hari ni. kalau layan perasaan weather2 mcm ni mmg best. termasuk hari ni, tinggal 22 hari je lagi aku nak tinggalkan bumi Dunedin bertuah ni. bertuah sgt ke dunedin ni? bertuah jugak la. a cute city yg mmg kecik, tapi lengkap dgn pelbagai fecilities, tenang, aman damai. org2 yg courteous, excluding the hangovers yg kurang didikan tu.
tak sangka 4thn berlalu mcm tu je, terlalu sekejap. in less than a month i have to say goodbye to this memorable city. kat dunedin ni jugak la aku belaja mcm2. bukan setakat grad with a degree in pharmacy inshallah, but also in living skill. byk jugak valuable skills yg aku sempat belajar kat sini, termasuklah car management, culture adaptation, recipe improvisation, independence dan skill yg paling takde kena mengena sekali ialah skill in relationship. kahkahkah..mushy sket..kasi can la once in a while.lol.
alhamdulillah pada hari ni, aku yakin aku dah matang sket handle bab2 pelik2 nih. it took me years to truly understand what true love means. kepada anda yg tertanya2 apekah itu cinta sebenar..jawapan ringkas saya: tiada cinta yg lebih besar dari cinta Allah. aku bukan nafikan cinta manusia. cinta sesama manusia itu mmg fitrah. tapi apabila cinta kepada manusia melebihi cinta kepada Allah..manusia akan hanyut, lemas, tenggelam dan segale male bende yg menyusahkan manusia utk bernyawa.
i'm not the best person to talk about love. i'm still young and inshallah i still have a long live ahead of me. though i admit, i set bad example to my lil sist and bro in the past, i will keep on trying to improve myself. ya Allah, lindungilah adik2ku dari the wild world out there. pls beri kepada mereka kekuatan mengahadapi pelbagai dugaan yg melanda.

mood yg random pagi2 ni,
Fateha

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Dont be skeptical againts carrot cake!

Last time kak nadwa ada tanya psl resipi ni, but i could not find it mase tu. then i found the resipi kat dlm folder resit2 wof kereta. so here's the recipe:

For the cake:

1) 300g self raising flour
2) 2 tsp cinnamon powder
3) 200g sugar.
4) 4 eggs
5) i cup vege oil
6) 2 long grated carrot
7) 1 small tin chopped pineapple
8) 150g chopped walnut
9) zested lemon&orange (sebijik each)

For the frosting:

1) 250g cream cheese
2) 150g sugar
3) 125g melted butter.

Instruction:

1) Sift flour, cinnamon in a bowl. and add sugar to the mixture.
2) in a separate bowl, beat eggs, oil, grated carrot, zested lemon & orange thoroughly.
3) gradually fold in the flour mixture into the bowl. mix thouroughly.
4) add chopped walnut and pineaple into the dough.
5) pour the dough in a lined baking tin, and chuck in the over at 180deg for 30-45min.

for the frosting:
1) beat butter and 150g sugar til become soft and fluffy.
2) then add cream cheese and mix thoroughly. start at low speed, increase speed accordingly as mixture becomes softer.
3) smear it on the cake that has been cooled at room temperature.
4) decorate kek cantik2, then jgn mkn sorang2 ok??

the last piece that i manage to save for myself. dont judge my cake. it looks horrible. but u never knew until u stuff it in yr mouth!


Yippiiee~~~
Fateha

For what??

Satu persoalan yg perlu dititik beratkan sebelum kita memulakan sesuatu is: what for?. apakah tujuannya kita decide nak buat something? tujuan mmg sgt penting to help us accomplish the mission. kalau takde mission, maka takde tujuan. kalau takde tujuan, mengapa perlu buat sesuatu itu? tak ke tu namanye BUANG MASA, or BUANG TEBIAT??
Most ppl buat something bcos it makes them happy. tapi kalau cara tak menghalalkan niat, maka niat dan tujuan itu sudah menjadi tidak halal which eqivalent to dosa dan kemurkaan Allah. So making yourself happy in the wrong way could invite a disasterous future.
think about this: You wouldnt want to ride an unwarranted car for fear of potential road crash. so why dare commiting a sin to reserve a spot in the hellfire? everything u do, set a clear goal. review the goal, and decide whether it is worth doing. Listen to the lil voice in your head. u know the answer without having to think hard. Sometimes you give in to your heart.
They say listen to your heart, but the question is: is your heart telling you the right thing? or it's just trying to fool the life it belongs to? The safest way is to listen to your IMAN.
they are trying to fool you by saying: "you are still young", "life is short", "we all have a lil secret", "we are only human we make mistakes", "you'd miss out the fun". Fun? to what extent can fun bring you happiness? be careful of too much fun as it may take its toll on you.
aduh baru igt nak tulis fully melayu. ok alih bahasa. so cer nye, always ask yourself kenape, kenape, kenape nak kena buat something. kalau jawapannye tak tau, or for fun maka think twice. beristighfar lah berpuluh2 kali pun sbb itulah bisikan syaitan. sesungguhnya setiap amal itu bergantung kepada niat. maka sucikan niat, inshallah sucilah perbuatanmu.

Learn to say No.

Wallahualam.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

It wasnt our fault.

Al kisah..singgah farmers dgn kak azam tadi. as we walked in, angin bertiup sepoi2 bahasa mengiringi kitorg masuk entrance farmers. well xde la sepoi sgt, kuat la jugak. tapi tak sekuat taufan. well no biggy pun angin kuat. We ignored it, terus pergi usha promo half price nearby cawan2 yg tersusun tinggi tadi.

angin kuat sgt tak pasal2 telah meniup the price board cawan2 kaca. price board jatuh. kitorg yg tengah usha bubble tea maker, menoleh ke belakang. and at the same time, dgn slow motion nye, satu cawan bersama piring nye jatuh ke lantai.
tick....tick...tick...tick...tick....praaaaaaaaannnnngggg!!!!!!!!!!!!


we helplessly watched, terkebil2 kecuakan. and terdengar bunyi deraian kaca menerjah keseluruh farmers. maka hancur berderailah sebijik cawan bersama piringnya..
all eyes on us, but it wasnt our fault. dgn reflexnye saya berteriak
"It was the wind, it wasn't our fault!". lol. xde org pun salahkan kitorg, but i justified so defensively.

On one hand, we were innocent. we didnt even touch the cawan. On the other hand, it was us who came in, sliding the auto glass door, allowing the wind to blow away the cawan. But duuhh its only a cawan. dont make a fuss over tiny weeny lil thing!
We then disappeared to 123 dollar shop happily, as if nothing ever happened.

The end.
Fateha

Monday, November 2, 2009

Is it our last goodbye??

Hanisah was sooo nice for organising a small get-together for our post-elective group meeting and also other close classmates. melody was leaving on the next day. so was sadia. that was so heart-breaking, knowing that we are getting closer to our final bon-voyage.
the school that i was reluctant to go to in the beginning, has been found hard to let go now. school of pharmacy has more that just meets the eye. despite the hidden buiding, the worn off sign board, i enjoyed my 3 years in this school. the friends, the teaching staffs, the experience; they become the sweetest memory i'll never forget.

I will miss red lecture theathre,
I will miss running late to workshop in hunter,
I will miss catching the elevator at adams,
I will miss being in med lib,
I will miss producing labels in the lab
and getting told off by @#%^&* during dispensing,
I will miss fix mocha in the morning
I will miss walking to school, and walking home from school, and whatever i do in between,
Most of all i will miss the friends.
sooo much=(






will remember you,
Fateha

Sulaiman cont'd

Kereta saya ready to be taken away. semalam abg rizal and shamin telah menjalankan satu operasi menggeledah dan mencabut ke atas kereta saya utk dijual or dijadikan spare part.saya tak kesah langsung sebab lebih baik kasi kat diorg drp sedekah free2 dkt wreckers yg akhirnya akan mengaut untung yg berganda2 drp rangka kereta saya.

pelbagai organ telah diambil, antaranya tyre spare, spoiler, speaker, stereo, battery, back mirror and mcm2 lagi. kalau boleh nak pow pintu, windscreen, rooftop sume. tapi over sgt, kang takut wreckers pun takmau. plus nnt polis suspect kitorg ni pencopet sbb unravel kereta di tengah2 public. cuak jugak. tapi buat slumber je

so setelah almost sejam mencabut2 organ2 kereta, kitorg pun pulang full-handed. honestly i did not want anything from the car, but i wanted to keep at least something as a rememberance. so i took the plate. for some reasons i was so happy unscrewing off the rear bumper. i wana keep it, cherish it. the car that has been my best companion for the past 3 years. if it was a human being, i wouldve married it, and live happily ever after. but since its just a car, i let go of it. i wont shed a single tear cos i believe that it will reincarnate, as a whole brand new waaaaay better-looking one inshallah;p.

we siezed this precious piece of metal

We snapped off the back mirror

and i was cool as cucumber??~ patah tumbuh hilang berganti aint it?



Fateha

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A Touching Love Story

It's a touching story and its true though we leave together for so many years and yet we don't understand each other well. We must learn to be more appreciative than complaining and comparing. Correct?

Read on.........and u be the judge for the moral of the story..........

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office. Apparently, they are there to file a divorce. Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story....

This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over yrs of marriage, nothing ever seems to go right. They hang on coz of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce....

Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 years of marriage at the age of 70, he couldn't understand why the old couple would still wants a divorce...while they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband.."I really love u, but i really can't carry on anymore, I'm sorry.." "its o.k, i understand.." said the husband. Looking at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together, just 3 of them, wife thought, why not, since they r still gonna be frends.. At the dining table, there was a silence of awkwardness. The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady.. "take this, its your favourite.." lookin at this, the lawyer thought maybe there's still a chance, but the wife was frowning when she answer.." This is always the problem, u always think so highly of yourself, never thought about how i feel, don't u know that i hate drumsticks?" Little did she know that, over the years, the husband has been trying all ways to please her, little did she know that drumstick was the husband's favorite. Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all, little did he know that she hates drummsticks even though all he wants is the best for her. That night, both of them couldn't sleep, toss and turn, toss and turn. After hours, the old man couldn't take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he can't carry on life without her, he wants her back, he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her "i love u"...

He picks up the phone, started dialing her number....ringing never stops.. he never stops dialing. On the other side, she was sad, she couldn't understand how come after all these years, he still doesn't understand her at all. she loves him a lot, but she just can't take it anymore... phone's ringing, she refuses to answer, knowing that its him..."what's the point of talking now that its over...i have ask for it and now i wanna keep it this way, if not i will lose face.."she thought...still ringing...she has decided to pull out the cord... Little did she remember, he has heart problems...

The next day, she received news that he had passed away...she rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone...he had a heart attack when he was still trying to get thru' her phone line....

As sad as she could be...she will have to clear his belongings...when she was looking through the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the day they got married, beneficiary of cause its her...together in that file, there's this note... "To my dearest wife, by the time u r reading this, i'm sure i'm no longer around, I bought this policy for u. thou the amount is only $100k, i hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that i have made when we got married. I might not be around anymore, i want this amount of money to continue taking care of u, just like the way i will if i could have live longer. I want u to know i will always be around, by your side...i love u"

Tears flowed like river......
When u love someone, let them know...
You never know what will happen the next min....
Learn to build a life together...
Learn to love each other.......... for who they are..not what they are...

Adapted from an anonymous blogger:
Hanah. A Touching Love Story. [Online] Available from: http://hannah2010.blogspot.com/

My wings, my feet, my car..

It's been over a week.
and life has been different.
Missing sulaiman..=(



"Inna ma'al 'usri yusra", have some faith fateha..

Fateha

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Jehovah Witnesses

TINGTONG!!!! the bell rang, i answered the door.

"Hi i'm Mary and this is my husband John. We are the Jehovah's witnesses and we'd like to share some taughts of bible".

"We'd like to give you this phamphlet, this answers some questions regarding beliefs in God. It tells you whether God really cares about us, and how to find true happiness in life and many more. Have you ever wondered about these?" said Mary, pointing to the list of questions on the front cover of the phamphy.

I had a quick glance over the list and said "Actually i have, but ive already found the answers in Quran. I am a muslim, I do believe in God. Just like how you believe in Jehovah, we believe that Allah as the only God to us all"

"But it is always good to share the taughts of bible", said John.

"I really appreciate your effort to make us realize what we've already realized. Quran provides us with all the answers, even more than what we need. So i dont think i need this."

"Well just give it a read", John and Mary seemed to understand my standpoint, we chatted a lil bit, and they disappeared into the morning rain.

Alhamdulliah, praise to Allah who has given me the confidence to stand my ground. The ground that i have been on for as long as i could remember, on which i'm happy to be forever more.

To all Jehovah witnesses:
1) You have only realized that God exists, and that Jesus in not God. We muslim have already known that. It is in Quran.

2) You are looking for true happiness. We have a perfect guideline to gain entry to heaven in the Quran.

3) You need to learn to be heard by your god. We muslims are heard by God all the time.

4) Yes we do believe in Jesus and Bible. Just that Jesus in not the son of God, he is a prophet. and we believed in bible, one that is given to Jesus, not ones that have been changed to suit peoples' need and lifestyle.

5) Bible: New testament, old testament. There is only one version of Quran that will be preserved forever. That is a promise of Allah.

To all my muslim mates:
1) Show respect to our fella Jehovah witnesses as they are only human like us, who are seeking the truth. We muslim have the answer, and we are responsible in spreading the words of Allah to the entire nation, including them.

2) Show them good examples of real muslim. Offer them knowledge of islam, so they'll realized what they have not yet realized to replace what they thought they have already realized.

3) Distribute copies of Quran not only to Jehovah missionaries, but to as many people as possible so they will get to know their own creator, so they will not go astray.

Wallahualam.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Ahlan wasahlan to the world Alana

Hehe..tadi saya dan kak diha pegi tgk baby kak fifi!sgtlah comel alana=). umur baru sehari, kecik je 2 kilo. berat lagi potato 2.5kg beli kat new world tadi. the baby was so well-behaved, maybe sbb kenyang sgt minum susu eh?? awal2 tak berani pegang baby, i'm afraid that it'll break in my arms, so i let kak diha hold her first.

baby itu kelihatan tenang sehinggalah ia dipasskan ke saya. awal2 tenang, then after a while die dah start mencebik2..muka merah..then bukak mata seblah, then tutup, then gerak2, then nangissss...mommy, i swear i did nothing wrong, but the baby doesnt seem to like me that much..

anyway, i tried my best to show the motherly side of me by staying as still as i could. breathing as shallow as possible for fear that aldana might terkujat. it worked for no longer than 5min though, where alana started to show symtoms of irritability towards the holder again.


the ibu mithali=D


kak almas









Semoga Allah memelihara mereka semua,
hopefully dgn kehadiran baby baru, family kak fifi& abg zaini bertambah2 serinya yg mmg pun dah berseri2.

saya suka=)

Fateha

Thursday, October 22, 2009

EXAM~

Critical stage...

OMG.. exam in only 2 hours. only god knows how terrified i am right now. arrrrggghhh~~self-confidence in going down low. but i refuse to look at those notes at these moments bcos i'm freaking out like crazy. man this is the moment of truth!! we're talking about PHCY 473B!!! that should mean something to you and me. Ya Allah, pls calm me down..
in the meantime, i am sure the others are doing their last-minutes go-thru-it-all-again. but here i am writing a post, just had breakfast, watching tyra on tv and all the things i shouldnt be doing! i even did my laundry, like what the....???? of all the time in the world? this is bizarre, this is not myself.
now i cant even go the bathroom cos the handymen are doing some roofwork. surely i dont want to "entertain" them cos im the one who needs to be entertained today.
God help me..

i can breathe....

Freaking out,
Fateha

Monday, October 19, 2009

Otherwise...My birthday cont'd..

Apart from my unexpected birthday mishap yesterday, i had a wonderful day. My flatties (kak azam, kak een & kak wani) gave a VIP treatment. felt like i was treated like a queen. thnx sisters!!! i really2 appreciate it all..


My birthday cake!




Introducing the two lil fellaaaa~~


Sugar(lil one) & Lemon(bigger one)


they are never happier.


A chocolate bouquet


A rocking black star perfume


Cant you guys see how happy i am???hehehehe...

and not to forget, birthday pizza by hanisah and shamin. u guys are awesome!! there's a funny story behind it, i'll never forget throughout my entire life. i'll tell it to my great-granddaughter.lol.

Ya Allah, ya Rahman, two words: THANK YOU.

Just turned 23,
Fateha

My precious 23rd Birthday..

Yesterday was my birthday!! i'm officially 23 years old now. how fast time flies and how fast the number changes, it's all beyond my control.

Yesterday was an ordinary day, but i felt the love and warmth and the blessings of being the birthday girl=). Thank you Allah for giving these wonderful feelings, for wonderful flatmates who are so thoughtful, caring, loving. For all the wonderful people around me, i feel so happy, i could not ask for more.

ONE LESSON.. one big birthday lesson that i learned yesterday. perhaps that was a birthday gift from my Lord; a valuable tarbiyyah that hopefully will be on my mind for as long as i live. I learned that NOTHING LASTS. not a single thing in this world last forever. Indeed, yesterday, yes on my birthday, was sulaiman's last day of life. Sulaiman, my dearest Honda Integra that has been with me for 3 year, who i cherished a lot more than myself, that i care about so much, for which i abandoned my other loved ones, has gone and never come back. i cant believe that my ride to library couple of days ago was my last moment with leman.

everything happened so fast. i was told that leman was better off taken to wreckers, way before i could comprehend the whole situation. waaaiiiittt a minute mister potato!!! did u just tell me that my car, my beloved car, can no longer function and the only thing i can do is trash it? like what?? like could u pls repeat that???like, like, like..........................................i can hardly catch my breath.

Ya Allah, aku redha akan pemergian Leman. Aku sedar bahawa dalam hidup ini, tiada apa yang sebenar-benarnya milik aku. No matter how hard i try to keep it, WOF it, service it, wash it, vacuum it, rain-X it, petrol it, water-in-radiator it, check-every-weekend it, see-if-there's-any-scratch it, Jika sudah tercatat dalam Luh MahfuzMu, maka kun fayakun....tamatlah riwayat Leman.

Wahai pemilik hatiku, Kau jualah yang berhak keatasku. Dan aku sedar aku pun tidak kekal. Seperti leman, seruanMu terhadapku jugak boleh datang without any warning sign. Maka kau peliharalah hatiku, tetapkanlah hatiku padaMu, dan berilah peringatan kepadaku.

ONE BIRTHDAY, ONE LESSON, ONE STEP CLOSER TO GOD.

just turned 23,
Fateha

Friday, October 16, 2009

This I Promise You

When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The ONE you should call,
Was standing here all along..

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day your life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you MY WORD,
I give you my heart
This is a battle you've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes
Each loving day
And hope your feelings won't go away
Till the day your life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..


Touching pulak dgr lagu ni pagi2 sabtu ni. bukan sbb teringatkan someone. tapi lagu ni kalau kite explore lyrics die, tukar pronoun sket2, maka kite akan dpt msg dia.
boleh resemble message tuhan untuk kite..
yang sentiasa ada untuk kita,
yang sentiasa guide kita,
yang takkan let us down,
yang janjiNya benar.
Maka yakinlah bahawa Allah itu ada, dalam susah atau senang, ups or downs,
Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan abandon hamba2Nya.

(jaw: aku tau BM aku teruk, tapi aku nak tulis melayu jugak.lol)
To my otago-mates who are trying hard to translate this post:(you know who you are;p)

I dont think that this is the most suitable song, but it sorta resembles Allah's message to us.
When you are feeling down, just remember that Allah is there for you.
and have faith in Allah for He will not you down.
For better or worse, He will have your back and all you've got to do is put your trust in Him.
May His blessings be with us always.

Fateha

Sunday, October 11, 2009

M.A.A.F

Sebagai manusia saya ada khilaf...
Dan mungkin at some stages, boleh menyakiti hati mana2 pihak. Tidak pernah bermaksud nak berbuat demikian, mungkin emosi keperempuanan saya yang kadang2 mendorong saya untuk bertindak di luar kawalan. Dan mungkin jugak estrogen dan progesterone level saya yg kadang2 fluctuate randomly which has a direct effect on my cognitive function. Mungkin juga insensitivity saya yg amat profound, yg most of the time menyebabkan saya tak pernah sedar bahawa ada pihak yg terluka.

Kepada pihak yang terluka atas tindakan reflex saya, saya ingin memohon setinggi-tinggi kemaafan. Saya hanya seorang manusia yg mempunyai 1001 kekurangan. My beloved friends, silalah beri teguran sekiranya saya salah. i can guarantee that i will try my best to take it and learn from my mistake.

Million apologies,

Fateha

Saturday, October 10, 2009

ALCOHOL

"The dose temazepam is too high for this patient. The recommended dose is 20mg daily, but this patient takes 40mg instead. We will recommend dose reduction and possibly treat the underlying cause of insomnia" said my groupmate, as we presenting a case study to the whole class.

"Anyone would like to add anything?" the tutor said.

I stood up and said "This patient is reported to consume a large amount of beer that might lead to sleep disturbance. To solve this problem, we suggest that he stop drinking."

The tutor gave me a "look" as if she did not get what i said, thus she pointed at me and my other muslim mate saying "Come out here you two"
We came forward not knowing why.

"Have you ever seen in your culture anyone who is drunk", said the tutor.
"No", we replied.

"Has any of your family member ever drink in their entire life?", she added.
"No",we replied shortly.

"So just because you dont see it in your culture, does it mean that you can simply suggest a person to stop drinking?", she interrogated us.
"No", we replied dumbfoundedly, feeling vindicated.
"That's all, now go sit down", she said.

We went back to our seat with thoughts running through my head. How could we not suggest someone to stop drinking? whereas we can suggest them to stop smoking? I can name hundreds of smoking cessation products out there to assist a person to quit smoking, suprise2...there is even a quitline!!

But why cant drinking? Why? Alcohol is known to cause so much health hazard. even worse than smoking, and my dear tutor, why cant we SUGGEST a person to stop drinking???

Pharmaceutically speaking, I think it is relevant to not only suggest, but also force a patient to STOP drinking entirely. Being a CYP 450 inducer, alcohol could cause a number of medication therapeutic failures(1). Also it enhances the effect of some medication in the CNS, resulting in sedation. Consequently, we need to consider adjusting drugs doses, avoiding some particular drugs, perform unnecessary life-long monitorings which could cost a fortune to the health sector. Obviously the risks of drinking outweigh the benefits. What happened to "always consider the risk/benefit?".

Besides, drinking has been the main cause of fatal crash, yet they are stil compromising it. Apart from that, alcohol also has evidently caused domestic violence where women and chilren are terribly abused. And because of alcohol too, many women have experienced unwanted pregnancies due to unprotected sex. No wonder abortion rates are reported very high in western countries and also NZ. And it's still not the drinking huh?? So pathetic when they come up with following phrase:

"It's not the drinking, it's how much you drink".

I am sorry if anyone found this post offensive. As a pharmacist-to-be, I just thought that it would be the most cost-effective measure to achieve optimum therapeutic effect of treatments. Besides, it'd be fair to the smokers. Drinkers should also recieve the same counselling and also the same lifestyle changes. If you think about it, ones who benefit from this stop-drinking-program are the drinkers themselves. So why are we paying for the disease while the cure is free of charge?(2)

BETTER LIVING EVERYONE.

Fateha

Reference:

1) Weathermon, R., Pharm, D. & Crabb, D. Alcohol and Medication Interactions. Alcohol Research and Health, 1999, vol. 23, No. 1, p40-54.

2) Sarah's Status on YM.

Friday, October 9, 2009

3 perkara..

Bengaaaaaang!!!!!!!!!!!!
argh tak pasal2 je.
sukati lah..

cuma hadith ni je penanang hati saya hari ni:

Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda, “Tiga perkara, jika terdapat di dalam diri seseorang maka dengan perkara itulah dia akan memperolehi kemanisan iman: seseorang yang mencintai Allah dan rasulNya melebihi segala-galanya, mencintai seseorang kerana Allah, tidak suka kembali kepada kekafiran setelah Allah menyelamatkannya dari kekafiran itu, sebagaimana dia juga tidak suka dicampakkan ke dalam neraka.” (Hadith riwayat Anas r.a)

Ya Allah tenangkan hatiku.
Peliharalah aku dari segala segi ancaman org yg nak mengancam ketenteramanku.
Amin.

P/S: news update, tikus death toll: 8

Fateha

Screw you CONTACT ENERGY!

Saya sebenarnya tgh menahan marah yg amat terhadap CONTACT ENERGY. inilah company yg supply letrik utk rumah kitorg.
couple of weeks ago die hantar surat, "HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN TO PAY YOUR BILLS?"

menyirap darahku ibarat sirap bandung. surat bil pun tak dapat. tak pasal2 hantar surat ckp kitorg tak bayar. saya cuba menenangkan hati "Surat tu tercicir kat mana2 kot" monolog dalamanku berbunyi.

but we've got it sorted, called them, managed to stil get the promp payment discount, pay it immediately within 7 days from the day that the call was made. and i thought that everything was perfectly fine until............

Ive got a letter today from contact, stating our new power bill (sept-oct) ALONG WITH THE UNPAID AMOUNT OF PREVIOUS BILL (aug-sept), LIKE WHAT THE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
apekaaaahhhhhh....bukankah sudah aku bayar wahai saudara contact ku? sudah melayang ratusan dolarku.tidakkah kamu take note? mengapakah tidak efficient sekali service mu?

the second letter was sent 2/10, and within seven days (9/10) you expect us to pay the so-called "unpaid bill" and if we failed to pay, you threatened to charge us the late fee which is god knows how much. pulak??? and unfortunately the letter arrived on the 7th day. whose fault was it??????why didnt u take into account the period of posting?

I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED WITH CONTACT ENERGY. FIRSTLY BECAUSE OF ITS INEFFICIENCY, SECONDLY BECAUSE IT SIMPLY BLOODY EXPENSIVE. IT HAS POOR MANAGEMENT AND OBVIOUSLY IS LACKING IN SO MANY WAYS. I URGE ALL MY DEAR NZ MATES TO RECONSIDER SUBSCRIBING TO CONTACT ENERGY, such a blood-sucking, back-stabbing energy supplier ive ever known in my entire life.

Beside, meridian energy kan ada..org kata murah. boleh la ask around. kot2 boleh dpt better deal.

"BETTER LIVING EVERYONE!"

Fateha

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Malang tidak berbau

Saya bangun tido dgn penuh antiicipation, dan voila! alhmdlh all my hard work paid off. xde la hard work sgt pun. exagerate lebih.

tikus keenam saya namakan Nakbah. Nama ni diambil sempena memperingati kejadian malang yg menimpa saudara palestine kita pada tahun 1948(1). catastrophe yg didalangi oleh zionis laknatullah itu telah menyesarkan 800 000 palestinian drp kediaman mereka dan membunuh sejumlah manusia yg amatlah ramai dalam usaha mewujudkan Israel-Raya yg mereka idam2kan(2).

sesungguhnya tak terbandinglah kematian seekor tikus compared to ribu2an umat islam yg terkorban dlm peristiwa nakbah. i wish i cud present this tikus to Zionist Movement Militias sbg satu tanda 'terima kasih' atas tindakan hina dina mereka. entry kali ni menyaksikan kematian seekor tikus yg sgt menyayat hati. namun, ini cumalah seekor tikus..






Reference:

1) Nakbah 1948 [Online] [cited 8 October 2009]. Available from: http://www.nakbah1948.org/
2) Ust Zainurrashid.

Fateha

Tikus keenam

tikus keenam is well underway. walaupun tak tertangkap2 lagi, i'm so anticipating it. mouse trap dah dipasang, peanut butter still byk lagi. i'm counting down the hours, counting up the days.....cepatla tikus mkn peanut butter tu!!!annoying la tgu lama2 ni.

setelah lama berkecimpung dalam arena penangkapan tikus, saya dah tak takut sgt dengan tikus. dulu cuak lompat2 dan tak sanggup nak tgk seblah mata pun. sekarang ni still jugak takut. geli geleman tahap gaban. tapi terpaksa gagahkan diri unclip the tikus into the toilet bowl. kalau tak nnt mayat dia reput dan baunya haruslah tidak comel. walaubagaimanapun, ini tidak melenyapkan hasrat saya untuk memiliki seorang suami yg tidak takut tikus, spider, lalat, kumbang, belalang, katak, ulat sampah , ulat beluncas, cacing, cicak, cicak, cicak dan cicak. kerana saya tidak sanggup, tidak mampu, tidak berupaya dan tidak kuasa nak berhadapan dengan situasi ngeri sedemikian rupa.

wahai tikus keenam(soon to be named) kalau kau tak dtg pun takpe kot. aku ni anticipate je lebih, nak buang takut. this 20th century patutnya ada teknologi mouse trap yg tak perlu buang2, just destroy it immediately into ashes pakai radiation ape patut. ala korang scientist kan terror...cipta je la.mcm susah sgt.duh~~

dah. nak tido. selamat beradu semua!!

Fateha

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

George, Olsens, Bush and Ratatouille.

Update of rats death toll as on 7th of October 2009: 5.

Lima ekor tikus dgn empat tangkapan.

Tikus pertama ditangkap kat dapur, dlm cupboard bawang. tikus tu sihat, i name it, george, sempena nama George st, Main St of Dunedin City Central . George and the gang mmg la sehat2, dah keje membedal beras2 kitorg, sambil meninggalkan habuan2nya tu. yuck! Sekarang kawan2 george dah westernised, apabila kami mendapati bahawa setengah paket spageti kami telah dibedal oleh segerombolan kawan2 george. ampeh~

tikus kedua dan ketiga adalah kembar seiras. yg sama2 diketip kat dlm toilet sebelah KIRI washing machine. besar ibu jari je, they are the olsen's twin. tu la mak dah ckp jgn main jauh2. kan dah kena ketip. kuang2!

tikus yg keempat tertangkap dalam toilet jugak, sebelah KANAN washing machine. bangkai die keras. pjg dlm 2 inci, lebar 2 cm. Nama dia george bush. sengal jugak bush ni. member dah mati nearby, tak amek iktibar langsung. nak jugak dtg kat tempat yg sama. now dah kena ketip, jgn nak salahkan sesape. dasar tikus sengal bedot!

tikus yg kelima (ratatouille)adalah tikus yg paling fresh sekali sbb badan die lembut lagi. still boleh lentur2. tak keras mcm george, olsens twin n bush. Maybe baru sgt die kena ketip. paling ironicnye, die mati kat the exact same spot as bush. this is consistent with my theory that rats are sengal, they have not sense of lessons-learning, hence end up getting themselves caught the same way over and over again. so disebabkan kesengalan ratatouille yg abadi, die dah pun selamat kena flush down the toilet bowl.

Idea peter mmg boleh pakai. btw peter bukan tikus, he is a handyman. die yg suggest calit peanut butter dekat mouse trap. so that the rats couldnt run away with the food. betul jugak, never thought of it.

i wouldnt say tat this is the most effective way of controlling the rats population, but it does its job well..so i'm quite happy.

rats, get on with your lil lives, and stay away from ours.

Monday, October 5, 2009

ALLAH KNOWS..

This is the song of the day. Fateha has to stay strong because Allah knows and He is always there for her....


When you feel all alone in this world
And there's nobody to count your tears
Just remember, no matter where you are
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load
And you wonder how far you can go
With every step on that road that you take
Allah knows
Allah knows

No matter what, inside or out
There's one thing of which there's no doubt
Allah knows
Allah knows
And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth
Every star in this whole universe
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you find that special someone
Feel your whole life has barely begun
You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you gaze with love in your eyes
Catch a glimpse of paradise
And you see your child take the first breath of life
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you lose someone close to your heart
See your whole world fall apart
And you try to go on but it seems so hard
Allah knows
Allah knows

You see we all have a path to choose
Through the valleys and hills we go
With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown
Allah knows
Allah knows

Every grain of sand,
In every desert land, He knows.
Every shade of palm,
Every closed hand, He knows.
Every sparkling tear,
On every eyelash, He knows.
Every thought I have,
And every word I share, He knows.
Allah knows

Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Story of SALOM 1

SALOM stands for 'sad and lonely old men' aged between 20-100 years old, who just cant get enough of life. that is why they are constantly sad.

SALOM usually have no aims in life, and seek happiness through episodes of 'fishing' any innocent girl who they could possibly lay eyes on.

SALOM are generally sweet, but foolish. they have little respect on women and treat them somewhat similar to rubbish.

SALOM could be extremely rich from which they could gain huge benefit;p. SALOM who are broke tend to be sweet talkers, who talk nothing but sweet stuffs. however girls dont buy them because that is so nineteen-thirty-nine!and because it is simply two-thousand-and-nine.

SALOM could easily be detected in the crowd.. keep reading to find out more..

Fateha against SALOM

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Malas/Malaise Disorder.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~
ummi help me! abah help me!

kenape aku malas?mengapa? mengapa? mengapa? mengapa?
Ya Allah, hilangkanlah kemalasan yang bertakhta di hatiku ini.
Sesungguhnya kemalasan ini membunuhku.
Ys Allah, ampunkan aku atas sikap malasku. Akan aku berusaha sedaya upaya untuk menepis sikap buruk ini.

Allahumma inna na'uzubika minal hammi walhazan,
wa a'uzubika minal 'ajzi walKASAL,
wa a'uzubika minal jubni walbukhl,
wa a'uzubika minal ghalabatiddaini wa qahrirrijal.
Amiinn..

Fateha rajin!!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Case study 1

FK, 23 years old, a pharmacy student recently experince a fall from from the sky. she presents with no fractures, but severe wound on her right knee. her unmanicured and unfiled nailes were reported to be scratched. but she was okay with it.

Based on the scenario, present a problem, options and plan for FK.

Problems:

1)luka lama berdarah kembali
2)risk of infections
3)weeping wound
4)being bailed on by woof2.

risk factors:

1)female
2)early 20s
3)hectic school timetable
4)unpredictable dunedin weather
5)loads of undone laundry

diagnosis: Recurrent haemorrhage

options:
pharmacological:
1)minyak gamat
2)minyak angin
3)tiger balm

non-pharmacological
1)Wound care measures
2)secondary prevention, wear comfortable shoes
3)avoid risk of falling
4)relax, minimise movement
5)remain anti-social for the next 10days

Plans:
1)Rx: minyak gamat, Side effect: pedih, foul-smelling.Management: Bear with it.
2)Monitoring: Check wound everyday, if no improvement: consult your GP.
3)rest and learn to be a couch potato
4)Tenangkan hati, solat dan baca quran byk2.

Samoa Tsunami

"30 Sept 09, American Samoa: Health officials in Samoa have confirmed at least 31 bodies have been brought to the morgue at the national hospital in Apia.

There are reports officials fear up to 100 people have been killed in the 8.3 magnitude earthquake and tsunami waves which struck this morning. The worst hit area is believed to be the southern coast of the island of Upolu."

huhu..subhanallah.berderau jantung pagi tadi bile public have been warned that tsunami might strike east coast of NZ. 1 meter high wave was expected to be observed in dunedin at approximately 1230pm. those in hawkes bay were told to leave work, go home, save their children and belongings before the tsunami strikes. some were anticipating it as if it was somewhat an amusing event.

The samoa island was struck by a 8.3 richter scale eartquake at 6.30ish this morning, immediately followed by a tsunami. the 3m-high tsunami, which was described by the samoans as "monsters" washed away a great number of suvillians and some 50 bodies were reported to be discovered. approximately 100 ppl are expected to be dead.

Being in between two earth plates does take a toll on the pacific island region including NZ. ppl are warned to be ready and take appropriate measures to deal with such devastating catastrophe. Here in Dunedin, I'm thanking Allah for protecting us against any natural disaster today. I'd like to express my condolences to tsunami victims and to families who have lost their loved ones..

Reported exclusively by,
Fateha

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Blur & blank

Sejuk nye lately. cuaca muram je.semuram mood saya 2-3 hari ni. tak tau kenape lately blur sgt.maybe sbb mkn byk sgt kot.body terkejut smp tak dpt nak cope. dlm kelas pun blur, smp aniceta pun perasan.

"we should give dobutamine to increase the blood circulation to the brain by increasing the the force of contraction of the heart...bla3..fa why are crying?"ujar aniceta.

i wasnt crying. i was yawning til my eyes got watery. and i did not realise it was streaming down my face.apekaaaaaah????

Fateha come on! get up! get back down to earth!uve been up there too long now..i need some motivation.i need a reviver like..mocha...or heaps n heaps of chocolate!

Ya Allah berilah kepada aku semangat supaya aku dpt focus dlm setiap kerjaku. kurniakan kepada aku tenaga dan kekuatan di dalam kelas, di luar kelas, dan dimana saja aku berada..amiin.

Fateha cergas!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Serrrronok!!

Best....raya adalah satu benda yg sgt best.alhamdulillah.walaupun byk kelas, i manage to attend them all. on top of that, i manage to attend most rumah terbuka too. rumah yg tertutup pun saya bukak2kan.
came home at 10pm last night. with full tummy, and of course i couldnt bother doing anything else, but slipping away into slumberland...this is life..

Terima kasih ya Allah, atas segala nikmat yg Kau berikan.
for the food on the table, for the wonderful friends &companions,
for the memorable time we had together.







This is priceless.

Fateha feeling blessed.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

my raya iterinary

7:30: Eid prayer at al-huda mosque
9:00: Home, layan je sape2 sudi dtg rumah.
11:00: PHCY472, Workshop W11, Group D, Hunter 118/119, Law, Law 5 - (11:00 AM - 1:00 PM)

1:00: Home, Solat.
2:00: PHCY473, Lecture SP12, Red, Dr Hook, Infections in paediatrics
3:00:PHCY473, Lecture SP13, Red, Dr Medlicott, Liquid dosage forms for paediatrics 1
4:00:PHCY473, Lecture SP14, Colquhoun, Dr McDowell, Liquid dosage forms for paediatrics 2
5:00: Beraya rumah Hanisah&Shamin

Evening: mungkin dah penat lecture banyak sgt, plus gelabah in the morning for the law exit test. so i reckon i'll be in front of the tv, watching one news. or in my comfy bed...wrapped in my cocoon, sleep deeply into the night=)

Kepada yg berpeluang beraya sepanjang hari, hope u guys enjoy yrself and have a great time with family and friends. to those who have to go to work/school like me, dont worry, boleh pakai cantik2 pegi sekolah.va va voooom!

Fateha ingin mengucapkan: Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada semua muslimin dan muslimat seluruh dunia. yang mengenali diri ini, seribu kemaafan dipohon. kot2 ada salah silap, terkasar bahasa, terperli lebih2, tergurau over2, terbahan tak tentu pasal, terkutuk depan2, terngumpat belakang2, tersakitkan hati sengaja atau tidak, itu semua khilaf saya sebagai seorang manusia. Please please please ampunkan saya?=(



Fateha
1 Syawal 1430

pre-raya speech

kejap raya ahad. kejap raya isnin. pening2. biase la nz, sentiasa lain dari yg lain. rasa2 nz n fiji je kot yg raya isnin. the rest of the world raya ahad. rasa2 nye la.
anyway i'm not devastated, infact i'm delighted.another day of ramadhan means more barakah. nz are still sterile of syaitan.well at least for the next 24 hours. i'm not ready for syaitan. i'm so not.

spoke to umi, told her that i'm sick. demam for a week already. tibe2 suare umi berubah. as usual, umi mesti sedih kalau aku told her a bad news. nyesal buat umi risau. shouldve told her everything is fine. but obviously my nose is blocked, my throat is itchy and i'm feeling quite light-headed. umi jgn risau ye. nnt kakteh sehat la..teringin sgt nak mkn rendang umi.nak raya dgn umi..

budar ckp umi beli bunga orkid maroon nak letak kat kubur abah. tapi acap semangat letak dlm vase. so there goes bunga untuk abah.xpe boleh beli bunga baru kan?kite decorate kubur abah cantik2..

speaking of abah, masuk thn ni dah 6thn x raya dgn abah.rindu sangat.tgk abah pakai jubah putih, dengan serban putih.pakai minyak atar 'malaikat subuh' favorite abah tu. tasbih dlm poket, jalan pegi surau. lepas balik surau sesi bergambar.ini adalah satu kewajipan. wajib ambek gamba..itu lah abah. every memory is captured..and memories with him stay alive in our mind.

another raya withour my family...and hopefully the last raya without them. looking forward for the next raya where i can be close to them. to my dearest family; UMI, KAKLONG, ANGAH, BUDAR, AISYA, ACAP, ABG SHAH, DANIA, NAFIS, SOFEA: selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin. jgn lupa kat kakteh/makteh yg jauh kat sini.


"Peace"

missing you guys heaps..xoxo

Fateha

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Tempat tertinggi..

"Dan sesungguhnya Kami jadikan untuk isi neraka Jahannam kebanyakan dari jin dan manusia, mereka mempunyai hati, tetapi tidak dipergunakannya untuk memahami (ayat-ayat Allah) dan mereka mempunyai mata (tetapi) tidak dipergunakannya untuk meiihat (tanda-tanda kekuasaan Allah). dan mereka mempunyai telinga (tetapi) tidak dipergunakan untuk mendengar (ayat-ayat Allah). Mereka itu seperti binatang ternak, bahkan lebih sesat lagi. Mereka itulah orang-orang yang lalai." Al a'raaf: 179.

come across ayat ni. kinda knock me in the head. tuhan dah beri kepada kita pelbagai nikmat. bersyukur pun tidak, complain lagi tu. worse still, gunakan nikmat pemberian tuhan untuk mengingkariNya. Astaghfirullahalazim.

ya Allah,
peliharalah seluruh anggotaku dari kemungkaran,
peliharalah aku dari kemurkaanMu,
aku takmau jadi bintang ternak itu,
masukkanlah kami semua dalam golongan orang2 yg beriman.

Amiiin...

Fateha

Monday, September 14, 2009

Do not message and massage..

This is the message that ive got for whats happened in the past 24 hours...seblah tangan urut orang, seblah tangan lagi texting..maka the tv ad is right. you cant focus on two things at the same time


From top clockwise: Husna, Aisya & Fateha

kak azam telah membawa berita gembira kepada aku tadi. she said that kak diha said that kak nurul said that her sister has found my fon!!!!!!!oh yeah..i mean, alhamdulillah..terima kasih ya Allah kerana telah memakbulkan doa aku. i'll keep both eyes on my fon this time.

sehari without fon is not that bad. except that my groupmates couldnt let me know that we were having a meeting at 2.30pm, i couldnt text Ammir to thank him for his beautiful raya card, i couldnt text anyone to ask about next's week school timetable bcos i need to make a doctor appointment within that week, n i couldnt text sadia to be able to locate her. so i made her promise to be at hunter til i come. even if the world come crashing i expect her to be there waiting for me. poor thing.sorry sweetie.

i'm happy that i survived a day without my fon. (gaya2 "i survived a japanese gameshow"). i do not have nomophobia. but living without my mobile phone does turn my life pretty much up side down..mcm mane la org dulu2 xde henfon kan?hmmm..

Fateha happy=)

my dear Sony Ericson..

Fon aku missing. aku tak sure mane aku letak but it's totally out of sight. last aku pegang mase kat masjid tadi. sambil urut waida and tried to reply text intan yang tak terreply2 cos aku tgh pk nak tulis ape. then imam habis aku pun terkocoh2 balik. yg penting nak balik mkn roti kaya....

now i'm fonless. which means there'll be no wake-up alarm in the morning. i need it. god knows how much i need my fon right next to me. its part of my entity. walaupun bunyi alarm to annoying and all my flatmates hate it, i need it more than anything. i even need it more than my.....erm...my....swiss ball? yeah my swiss ball which i like a lot, and inted to keep it forever.


i know if there's no aral, i'll be getting a new fon as a graduation gift by my beloved mother inshallah. but it doesnt mean that i have to lose this one. ive lost one previously which was given by Allahyarham abahku sayang. i definitely do not want to lose this one. it was a birthday gift from my whole family. they planned a huge suprise on me that night and aku sgt2 terharu. true that the fon is replacable but the memory is pricelss. i just need to have this fon back.


Gambar hiasan: sedih leman kena sabotaged oleh pemabuk2 jalanan.

ya Allah, ketemukanlah aku dgn fon aku. supaya aku dapat menjalani hidupku dgn sempurna dengannya. aku tau dgn fon tu jugaklah aku byk melagha dan aku sedar itu. ampunkan aku ya Allah. smoga pertemuan aku dgn fon aku nnt akan motivate aku utk tidak melagha lagi.semoga dengannya aku dpt beramal dan memperoleh redhaMu.

Fateha insaf

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Bombardment uncle Q.

"engkau Fateha kan?" kata uncle Q.
"hi uncle!!!", ujar aku yg dah lame tak jumpe Uncle Q.
bagus jugak dtg bazaar postgrad ni. at least dpt jugak la berjumpe dgn senior2 yg dah lame kenal or yg baru dtg. uncle Q was one of the closest to me. jumpe sure tegur. tapi hari ni uncle Q lain mcm sket. tegur aku pun kasar.

"lama tak nmpk kau" kata uncle.
"yeke?well..busy sket lately. tapi smlm saye ada je. uncle tak dtg smlm?" i replied.
"smlm lain cite la..tu la ngkorang ni..salu tak dtg gathering"he replied.
"isk, saye salu je dtg, uncle la yg x dtg"i said.
"salu aku dtg je. korang la..RELIGIOUS sgt"he said.
(konon2 org religious anti-social dan melarikan diri dari program2 yg dianjurkan. Padahal that is not the truth)

bagai menusuk2 kalbu ku. menghiris2 jantungku. merentap2 jiwaku. pantang datuk nenek aku..org memperlekeh2kan kepentingan agama. dan paling membakar otak aku, mengutuk org yg memperjuangkan jihad di jalan Allah...

"tak baik tau uncle cakap mcm tu...bagus ape(org2 religious).."aku cuba menahan marah ku.aku kawal nada suaraku. lembut susunan kata2 ku. ppl surrounding us dah mula beransur2 setelah menghidu bombardment dahsyat uncle Q. tapi aku teguh di situ.
"bukan ape..kat msia nnt susah..."uncle Q try nak cover. sambil konon2 check handset padahal aku sure takde incoming text whatsoever. aku yakin die cemas actually. setelah aku bangkit berani mempertahankan org2 religious yg die maksudkan itu..
jelas die cemas, lalu uncle Q tukar topic to which aku layan aje. well aku pun mmg hati kering bak kata kawan2 aku. dalam hati aku menyimpan bara api yg marak sbb emo sgt atas tuduhan mentahnya itu.

selame ni aku respek uncle Q. he's like an uncle i never had. tapi hari ni..aku tak mampu nak nobatkan pangkat uncle keramat yg aku selama ni aku bagi dekat dia. aku tarik balik. sebab aku geram. geram dgn serangan uncle ibarat bedilan israel yg dahsyat itu. tolong jgn ever trigger aku dgn soal2 agama. dan memperkecil2kan program usrah atau kegiatan agama masyarakat dunedin. kalau pun tak boleh join, jgn menghina. tak tau ke dia betapa besarnya darjat org2 yg berjuang di jalan Allah. mereka tidak hina. mereka tidak jijik. mereka adalah mulia di sisi Allah. org mcm uncle Q perlukan petunjuk.

dgn keyakinan dan keimanan yg senipis kulit bawang ni, akan aku perjuangkan agamaMu ya Allah. dan akan aku perangi org yg memerangiMu. Kau ampunkanlah dosa uncle Q dan tunjukkan lah kepadanya jalan yg benar.

" Aku memalingkan orang-orang yang menyombongkan dirinya di muka bumi tanpa alasan yang benar dari tanda-tanda kekuasaaanKu. Mereka jika melihat tiap-tiap ayat, mereka tidak beriman kepadanya. dan jika mereka melihat jalan yang membawa kepada petunjuk mereka tidak mau menempuhnya, tetapi jika mereka melihat jalan kesesatan, mereka terus menempuhnya. yang demikian itu adalah kerana mereka mendustakan ayat-ayat Kami dan mereka selalu lalai daripadanya" 7:146.

Fateha geram.

Sulaiman..

Fateha & Sulaiman 2007

Sulaiman ku sayaaaanggg..agak2 nye sempat ke esok nak gi carwash?since keretaku itu sangatlah pudar sinarannya akibat debu yg tebal melitupi. harap2 sempat la. kesian sulaiman..salu inferior je dgn keta seblah kan? xpe2..tibe mase, u'll shine again, ur my knight in shining armour=)

Sulaiman's brother

just wana share a story. on the way home from ili's tadi ternampak sorang mamat dress up in brown outfit. amazed jugak bcos outfit die ni almost like skin colour gitu. sudahlah body-fitting, so susah nak tell pakaian die. dari jauh aku wonder..baju ape la die pakai??until i drove closer towards the junction, at the same time he was running towards his car by the road side. i took a good look at him, and.............he was running in his brown outfit which apparently turn out to be transparent!! i could not believe my eyes that he was.....clothless!!...i was like...WHAT ON EARTH?????that is absolutely the opposite of cute! there wasnt even a single thread covering his body, and ironically, he was proud of it and laughing like there's no tomorrow.

i did not like seeing him naked,

i did not find him cute,

i did not find it amusing,

i did not want to experience that again,

that was a total eye sore!!!!

ya Allah sucikanlah mataku, dan peliharalah semua pancainderaku dari tercemar dengan perbuatan maksiat.


Amin ya rabbal alamiiin....


Friday, September 11, 2009

Senior assistang wardina..

Bersama postgrads, as one of the judges.

Kanak2 dan ibubapa kanak2 seronok mewarna.

Irfan: story telling competition. (observe bintang background tuh)


Kids: anticipating a story-telling session by Wardina=)

hari ni aku jadi senior assistant kak azam, merangkap wardina yang akan bercerita kepada kanak2 dunedin..alahai..nak tergelak pun ada.nak nanges pun ada. tak tau nak ckp mcm mana.yg penting ini sume sgt2 lawak.tadi aku n kak azam tergelak2 je while prepare slides. gaya kak azam yg sgt enthusiastic menyebabkan aku terlalu taksub gunting2 bintang. siap kena marah lagi dgn kak azam bcos semangat sgt tak tentu pasal.konon2 nak gantung2 bintang kat pokok.

"pokok pun takde!! tampal kat dinding sudey!" ujar wardina.

ok senyap lalu menggunting bintang dan mendengar arahan wardina..so now bintang dah siap! video dah download! dan kami bersemangat untuk pergi ke club sox dan menyampaikan cerita2 tauladan ini. harap2 takde la bapak2 org yg bertenggek nak dgr cite..segan okay..

arrgghh nak pakai baju ape nih???yg penting aku takmau pakai kasut pulp tu. psycho sakit. kenape la perempuan kena pakai kasut yg amat menyakitkan?aku tak kire..hari ni nak pakai baju kurung dgn kasut converse all star. biarlah tak vogue, asalkan selesa. after all, the only person i want to impress is myself..(gaya mendabik dada..astaghfirullahalazim, jgn sombong fateha...)

sekian.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

i'm still alive..

lama tak tulis kat sini. thats because i write somewhere else...heh i write it my head. and sebab lately sibuk gile kan. so takde time nak tulis2. elective project pun tak tertulis2. tapi tgk tv rajin.

taktau la kenape lately aku tidur byk sgt. smlm tido 6ptg smp 6pagi. hari ni balik kelas layan tido lagi til 4pm. tak cukup iron ke? tot aku dah mkn supplement hari2. dlm kelas pun asyik nguap je. nasib la masih bertenaga. n today last workshop dgn anita. siap amek gamba lagi dgn die. pastu nampak mr schmirer. kitorg tangkap die, n amek gamba dgn die gak. die cam cuak. lantak la asalkan aku happy dpt amek gamba dgn die. sure die bajet artis kan? mmg die artis pun. kau lah pujaan aku dr schmirer..semoga berbahagia dgn structure2 ubat ituuu..

speaking of which, makin lama rasa macam makin suke pulak dgn classmate aku. tiap kali pegi wshop rasa have fun je. even with those yg aku berbulu sgt2 time dulu2 pun dah ok skg. or worse come to worse aku ignore je. but alhamdulillah, i mean, how many ppl yg rasa seronok gi sekolah???terima kasih ya Allah kerana kurniakan aku perasaan seronok gi sekolah. now aku rasa sgt sayu, memikirkan graduation yg nak dekat. that means tak lama lagi je aku nak tinggalkan school of pharmacy yg best ni.

oh noi!!!!!!(ni slank kiwi = oh no)

THIS IS THE BEST SCHOOL I HAVE EVER BEEN TO IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

A lazy day..


Dont know why i feel sooo lazy these days.padahal exam in 2-3 weeks je lagi.ni mesti winter blue punye syndrom nih.mane taknye, its so demotivating la..gelap je.badan pun lembek mcm takmau kuar duvet..


omg fateha, uve got to work it girl!!!!!


sudah la bgn lambat, nasib sempat subuh..kalau terlepas tu sure bad mood satu hari.
then bfast lame kemain.layan sembang2 dgn kak wani n kak een. then naik konon2 nak study, tibe2 haus pulak. patutnye turun je bawak minum air. but tak pasal2 i went to have shower and buat laundry which took about sejam jugak la.(air tak minum2 lagi).


then after dah minum air baru dapat duduk study dgn tenang...but then teringat tak zohor lagi, so solatla dulu..


then baru dpt duduk study.ade la dlm half an hour, then teringat nak check fb, then tak pasal2 terbukak blog pukak..and here i am writing pointlessly~


tibe2 kak azam knock the door, then buat2 konon2 tgh study khusyuk..haha..kak azam terpedaya!

wahai fateha.studylah dgn bersungguh2. kemalasan anda di tahap maksima ini hendaklah diatasi dgn segera. there's a long list of drugs that you need to hafal. so keep your head down on those books!!!!!!!now!!!

Friday, May 22, 2009

$10 000 000!!!


Mother assists police to get daughter homeMay 23, 2009, 7:13 am:

"The Blenheim mother of a woman who has fled New Zealand with her boyfriend after they received a multimillion dollar bank credit says she provided police with information to help get her daughter home.
Kara Yang is believed to have travelled to Hong Kong with her boyfriend, Rotorua service station owner Leo Gao. TV3 said Ms Yang's seven-year-old daughter Leena and sister Aroha were with her.
Mr Gao is thought to have had the Westpac account that had $10 million credited to it through a bank mistake. Westpac said yesterday $3.8m was missing"


First of all, i'd like to give a word or two to westpac. HOW THE HELL DID YOU ALLOW SUCH MISTAKE TO HAPPEN????!?!?!..seriously, senang2 je nak "mistakenly" credit NZD10million to an account holder??gile ke ape?xde double checking ke?xde security ke?so careless! if you were a pharmacist, you will be sued by the public for commiting such mistake. carelessly dispensing the wrong medicine which will cause harm to the patients. or in a worse case, death! thnk god you're only dealing with money. so padanlah muka kau wahai Westpac for your own generousity of this "charitable" deed. I am not sure how they are going to recover that huge amount of money. probably kena tingkatkan investment, takpun cut down on dividen, increase interest??haha.or buat derma kilat pun boleh. Keep on tracing down that bloody couple. they've probably have flown to the moon and build a mansion there. hey..$3.8million=3 times winning final round of who-wants-to-be-a-millionaire..you could retire early and have the time of your life!


Tapi ive got to say that the couple deserve to go to !@#$%^ for what they did. helooo~~what kind of life principle are you practicing??as far as human is right is concerned, a human being has not so far been allowed to steal. that infringed other ppl's right..naah i dont wana talk law or ethics here..clearly, they are irresponsible.enough said.


but if i were in their shoes... say, on a nice sunny day (or gloomy and hailing like cats n dogs in dunedin)...tibe2 check account balance, ada $10 000 000!!!!NZD pulak tu.kalau convert about double la.so RM 20 000 000. gile ah..tapi seronok nye=) mcm bulan jatuh ke riba..hmm what would i do with that much money??hmmm here's my wish list:


- own the espirit outlet@ wall st, glasson, jayjays, farmers, just jeans, jeans west. baju2 die boleh tahan..sure vogue gile aku pegi sekolah hari2.(taste aku simple je)

- belanje kawan2 makan kat rainforest, turkish kebab, great taste(walaupun not my taste), little india, have humongous pancake @ capers..isk layan nye.dah lame teringin nak belanje member2.dgn ucapan.."makanlah kawan2,hari ni aku belanje. orderlah ape2 pun, dah dine-in takeaway pun boleh. youve been such wonderful friends and thnx for that!!"

- bawak my whole family to my graduation end of this year. umi, kaklong, budar, aisya, angah, acap. hop on the aircraft guys..New Zealand, here we come!!!


How i wish my dream would come true. Tapi hakikatnye, if it really happens in my life, satu sen pun aku tak nak.bukan setakat satu sen, 0.00000000000000001sen pun aku tak teringin!!!imagine la, kite guna sumber yg haram. kalau guna untuk makan, bende tu akan jadi darah daging kite yg tak suci. macam mana diri nak suci kalau makan benda yg tak suci. macam mana nak cari keredhaan tuhan kalau rezeki yg dicari dari sumber yg tidak halal?then hari2 wonder kenape diri sendiri jahat dan susah nak terima pedoman. back to the core of the problem. mungkin hati pun dah tak suci kan? tuhan mungkin nak uji je. like " ape budak ni akan buat kalau aku bagi kat dia $10million". so fikir2kanlah.


be wise

immunise

lol~~~





Thursday, May 21, 2009

An unexpected day~

Yesterday i went to library..kena siapkan kerja elective with hanisah.who apparently came with her hubby, shamin. ive got to say that i feel soo0o0o0 sorry for her because she had to bear with me.and my blurness..since my mind was all over the place..yelah dah mlm kan. plus u need to consider that i had a long2 day..obvious jugak la that i was tired~

so we went on and on and on about drug wastage.. salbutamol..salmeterol..beclomethasone..ops hang on..was there beclo???hrrrmmmm..yes there was. we had to get our into, aim and method done because tomorrow, our beloved supervisors Mr D and Mrs B want to see them. so we have to get them done tonight!....yeah tonight! my eyes were doopy, so was hanisah's..and shamin's..errr where is he???too bored, so he took a walk around lib.duuhh~

an hour has passed and there i was with hanisah..arguing whether acute asthma treatment should be part of the case mix..
"no fa..kite deal dgn chronic je"hanisah said.
"habis tu mcm mane kite nak tau whether the drug is prescribed for acute or chronic?"i replied.
seriously, i didnt even know what i was unclear about. but we kept on typing on hanisah's new lenovo mini laptop. we pushed ourselves to the limit..and voila!!!siap pun..the moment ive been waiting for..balik!!!!bubye korang~jumpe esok..
i hopped into leman and drove off. "alhamdulillah..start jugak kau leman..cuak gak takut bateri kong ke ape.

setibanya di simpang york place....nampak lampu kelip2 on my back mirror. the way it blings is just so familiar.red.blue.red.blue.red.blue....it instantly transmitted a signal to my brain, and adrenaline rushes like river into my bloodstream..
yes those shimmering lights were familiar. infact a sound of siren wouldve made it perfect! perfect to make me weak in the knees~~oh goddddd...help me ya Allah..but ape salah aku kali ni?what did i do wrong? alamaaakk..polis ni nak ape pulak mlm2 nih?? hate this..hate this..hate this..polis NZ maybe tak reti nak tido malam kot?
what to do?what to do? pull over..pull over la makcik!..baik..so i pulled over.

"good evening maam, how are u?", the police officer greeted me.
"good thnx", i smiled kelatly.
"quite a chilly night aye?" he asked while having a brief look through the front part of leman.
"yeah, pretty much"i replied, wondering what the heck does he wants in the middle of the night!
"just a quick alcohol test, could you pls count one to ten",he said, bringing the device closer to my mouth.
fuuhhh~~~what a relief!!!alcohol test je ke?buang mase gua je..
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" aku yakin.of course lah..results out in seconds and it said "NO ALCOHOL"..like duhh...obviously.do i even look like one of those hangovers???
"do u have yr licence with u maam?"he asked.
"yup,hold on a sec"i searched for my purse in my bag. and search.and search.and search.come on purse, come to mama..mama needs u now.and purse was not there!alamaakk~~
"do u have NZ licence?"he asked.
"no, malaysian licence" i replied while still searching for my purse.
"how long uve been here?what are u studying?"he asked.
"fourth year pharmacy, well but i go back to malaysia every year"i replied.
(fyi: you cannot hold a foreign driver licence if you stayed more that 12months in NZ)
"oh yeah that's fine. but if you're planning to stay here longer i would suggest that u have a NZ licence"he explained.
"i'll be leaving at the end of this year for good.so i think i'm fine"i said.(sambil tgn meraba2 dlm bag, lesen tak jumpe2 lagi).
"well thats ok then, you have a good night" he was so cold that he had to leave..yesssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!alhamdulillah.time kasih tuhan yg maha agung.Kaulah yg maha berkuasa atas tiap sesuatu.
if it wasnt for Allah's mercy, my bank account wouldve been short of $400 today. selamatlah $400.aku berjanji aku akan guna sebaiknya.mungkin tuhan nak aku sedar bahawa nikmat extra $400 yang ada dlm bank tu boleh ditarik bila2 masa sahaja. so sementara nikmat masih ada, acknowledge it, appreciate it, be grateful for it, and make full use of it for good reasons of course. my almost gone $400 has taught me a huge lesson tonight. and i promise to myself to cherish every single gift in this life!